Lasting Change & Why Your Best Insights Mean Nothing Without Action

In this episode of The Inner Trip, I give you a look into my recent Mexico retreat and share one of the clearest examples I have ever experienced of why people say the psychedelic journey is only a small part of the transformation. What became clear to me is that transformation does not happen because of a peak experience, It happens because of what you choose to do once life becomes inconvenient again.

This episode became less about psychedelics and more about the question underneath all healing work: Can you still be the person you say you want to be when life gets inconvenient? We also talk about emotional regulation, expressing emotions instead of suppressing them, why chasing constant highs creates instability, and how real integration means carrying your lessons into ordinary moments instead of leaving them behind in extraordinary ones.

If this episode resonated, send it to someone who is doing deep inner work or moving through a season of growth. Make sure you are following the show so you never miss a dose. Until next time, trust yourself, follow your intuition, and keep asking, how good can it get?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi kittens, I'm Julie Savone, psychedelic facilitator, integration expert, and your guide for this wild ride, the Inner Trip. 365 days with plant medicine. I've helped hundreds of people use plant medicine, primarily psilocybin, to heal, expand, and step into their next level. But this year, I'm taking it even deeper. For the next 365 days, I'm bringing you with me. I'll be microdosing, journeying, integrating, and exploring what it really means to live a limitless life with plant medicine as a tool, not a crutch. So if you're ready to feel more alive, more clear, more limitless, and you're down to do it with mushrooms and a little bit of sass, you're in the right place. Let's take the inner trip. Hello, kitten. My intention today is to share a story from this past retreat in Mexico that clearly um elucidates why people say the journey, right? The work of a psychedelic experience, 3% happens in the actual trip, and 97% happens after. And that's not something I made up. You probably heard other people say it, you will hear other people say it. It is not my phrase, but it is incredibly true. And it also makes it really clear what integration is and why it's so important. And you know, one of the best examples I have for integration is thinking about a therapy session, right? And you're in the session, and it becomes so clear that you know the partner that you are currently with is not serving you, the relationship isn't working, you've given it your fair shot. Like it's so clear, it feels a hundred percent to you that it gets to end. And so you leave with an action plan of okay, I'm gonna go end this relationship, and you walk into the next session and your therapist goes, So, how did the breakup conversation go? And you look at your therapist and say, We're going to Mexico, right? And it's like your feeling of assuredness, your determination to do the thing, your um trust in yourself, all of that has kind of gone by the wayside, and you have continued to choose a thing that was once really clear to you that was no longer for you. So that means you have it integrated the understanding, you have it embodied that awareness, right? And applied it to your actual life. So I have a real life story of something that happened to me that made it so clear why we say that 3% of the work happens in the trip and 97% happens after. And that, yeah, I mean, it's all well and good when you're in the retreat space to be like, oh, you know, embodying grace and being at peace and all of these things. Like it's it's just a bunch of honestly, like bullshit until you're tested in your real life with like, hey, are you going to live what you said was true for you, what you felt was so potent and real, and felt like a major like moment of clarity or a ha moment, a download in the trip. So I'm gonna tell you a little bit about what came up for me in the experience of the weekend. So, um, as some of you know, I am a facilitator of the experience. I guide people through, but I also microdose during the experience. And for the Temes call, which was a very important part of our Mexico uh road treat experience, I fully participated because I was not facilitating, we had a facilitator. A Temes Call is a traditional indigenous practice in the area of Mexico where we're in, in Oaxaca. And uh I had participated in that experience three years prior when I was in Mexico on a yoga retreat. That's really where I got the idea to like come to Puerto Escondido in particular, and the exact space that we uh had the retreat in for me and my business with the women that just happened, you know, a week and a half ago was the exact same place where I had been on a retreat, a yoga retreat in 2023. So it was really cool, like full circle moment. But I experienced it to my call then, and it is a um a sweat lodge that goes through what they refer to as four doors. So each door is a um is an opening into a different one of our bodies, right? So they believe we have four different bodies, and when I say body, I mean a physical body, an emotional body, a spiritual body, and a mental body. So it's looking at these different bodies, it's a cleansing of the bodies, um, it's a purification. And I knew that it would be a really powerful experience to set the tone for the weekend uh and just to help all of the women really get to the best place possible to embark and open themselves up to plant medicine, right? So it did a lot of powerful clearing work for us and really opened us up to get to the the juice, right? The meat of the issue much quicker. Uh, and it was a really beautiful experience too. I love having someone else facilitate for me, you know. Uh as a facilitator, I do a lot of time doing the leading, so it's nice to be led. And so I got so much out of that experience. And then during the journeys themselves, I microdose. So I will take a small amount of whatever it is, uh, LSD, psilocybin, so I'm in the energy of the experience. Um, I'm not having a full experience, however. And uh, but I get plenty out of it, right? Because it's time for me to be quiet, to be still, to pray, to connect, um, to just observe myself and the energies of the women and to make sure I'm holding down the energy for everyone. Um, and then also at the end of the weekend, one of the women who came to the retreat is also a limitless woman, and she is bringing a product to market, and her product also has an experiential component. Um, and so she basically led us through a workshop at the end of the weekend as well. Um, and that was so powerful because again, I love to be facilitated for it was really cool to see this project that we have been working on get brought to life and for me to get to experience it. So I share all this to say is like there's plenty of time for me to also have things come up and and to receive these aha moments and these downloads. And there's so much always to be learned from facilitation, right? From from these experiences and interactions and sessions with other women. So you might be thinking, well, like, what does she have to integrate, right? Because she didn't have a full-blown journey, and like I didn't, and in you know, the traditional sense that Temesco was an extremely powerful experience. It was really beautiful to get to experience my clients' work. But even in the microdosing, like there is so much to be gained, and I really want to emphasize for people that like more is not more better. And for some people, you know, microdosing is all they ever want or need from this world, and that's great. I love that for them, and there's there's a lot to be gained from it. So that is really where when I say, you know, what came up for me, that's where it came from, and from all of those pieces, including the facilitation piece, obviously, because it is a challenge, you know, it's it's one thing to learn about this work, it's definitely another piece to lead someone else through it, and it can be confronting and challenging. And just like I shared in the last um, in the last episode about when my client felt really triggered by me, right? That was my own opportunity to be in self-leadership. So there's so much to be gained, even as a facilitator, especially as a facilitator, always learning deeper and new things about myself. So when I thought about, and I've shared this exercise before on this podcast, it's closer to the beginning of the podcast, but there's an episode where I take you through the exact exercise that I use at my retreats to integrate from these psychedelic experiences, and the um the values that came up most for me were peace, wanting a peaceful life, um, mindful consumption, mostly of like media, um, and always entertaining the best case scenario. And again, you might be thinking, like, are these values? And maybe they're not values in the traditional sense, like, you're not gonna find them on a list of like top 100 values, like entertaining the best case scenario. But for me, it's something that's important that I want to give energy to, and so that's what I really mean when I say value. It's like this is something that has meaning for me that I am choosing to focus on. Um another one that was just kind of like co-tandem was living limitless, right? Like limitless women, and um like entertaining uh living limitless and like always in the end goal, right? So, like what is the big, what's the big picture and how good can it get and what do I want it to look like? And then finally, a value that I chose, and some of the other women actually chose as well, um, was savor, right? Do you really allow yourself to enjoy what is happening for you in this current moment? So those were some of my big values, and now I'm gonna tell you what happened and how this was the perfect example that it really isn't about the trip, it's about what you do with the trip afterwards, it's about how you integrate the trip. So Saturday night in Puerto Escondido, I get a text while I'm leading the final session about my plane the next day being delayed. So my plane was supposed to go Puerto Escondido to Mexico, Mexico to Atlanta, Atlanta to uh Kansas City. And the flight that's being delayed is Mexico to Atlanta, Mexico City. And I'm thinking, how would they know that now, right? Like it's obviously on a weather thing. This is a failure on Delta's part. So I get on the phone with Delta, the first woman, absolutely no help. Uh, I'd say, can you please transfer me to a supervisor? I felt like we were not, she was not understanding what I was saying, we were not communicating. And I got on the phone with this supervisor who instantly knew what I was saying, right? I gave him some other options. I was like, hey, I can leave earlier in the day. Hey, I can drive to this town that's an hour and a half away and get on a flight there. Um, really frustrated that that didn't happen because one of my clients, one of the women at the retreat, actually made the connecting flight that I was trying to get on because she left from a different airport, but neither here nor there. And at one point he goes, Oh, I have this great other option for you. I'm gonna book you on a different airline and you're actually gonna get home a little earlier than you thought. I'm like, amazing. I look at the flight info, thank God he's still on the phone with me. It's for a whole other day. And it's like, oh, I'm dyslexic. It's like, sir, then why are you the one in charge of like doing this for me? Right? Like, and so I'm like scrambling at that point. Will you please just put me back on the original flight? You know, we've tried everything. I've been on the phone with an hour. I'm like, we've tried everything, just let's get back to the original, even though it's delayed. Um, and I'm also thinking I'm gonna be calling Delta for some some reimbursement because this is clearly a you problem and not a me problem if you already know that it is behind. And so we get back on the original flight, and then I'm in the airport the next day, and my flight is bumped up. My arrival time to Mexico City. I see this other flight there, the one that my client is connecting to. It's gonna go through Salt Lake. And so I call Delta and she's like, Oh, you know what? I can't see this on my end, but book it, like, book it, and you'll make the flight, and I'll submit this for a reimbursement, and blah blah blah. I'm like, yes, we're a dream team right now. And I'm like holding the best case scenario while I'm in the plane, and I get off the plane and I'm running. And I have like a whole library on my back. I carry so many books with me. That is a me problem. It's crazy. But I am hustling and bustling my little self to the gate, and I run up to the gate and the guy's like, no, come on, and then they like very like, no, we closed the gate. So the initial guy was like, Yeah, come on, and then when they actually get there, like, no, we closed it. And I won't lie, I cried. I shed some tears. I was like, no my gosh. Okay, and the big problem was I feel like I kind of buried the lead on you guys. The problem was that the reason why I couldn't deal with a Mexico to Atlanta delay is because putting me in Atlanta, I would only have 15 minutes, 16 minutes to get to my Kansas City flight. But that's not actually accurate because they closed the doors 15 minutes before the departure time, right? So I would have had one minute from an international flight to deborn, go through, you know, that security. Um, and then you have to pick up your bag and retake the bag through because I had a check bag. It was like, that's not gonna happen. So uh I tracked out a Delta person in Mexico City, which is truly one of the worst airports in the entire world. Put it right up there with LAX. They can duke it out. One of the seven layers of hell, or maybe two. We'd knock out two there. Where are the remaining five? If anyone has any ideas, DM me. Would love to know where the other five layers of hell are. And they put me back on the original flight, which meant that I was gonna have to spend the night in Atlanta. I wasn't gonna get home until um Monday morning. And the real issue with all this is that I felt bad. I felt bad for my mom, who was on day 10 already of spending, like of running my farm, which my mom doesn't have pets, right? And it's not like I have like a, you know, senior cat or something. I have two cats and two pee who should be locked up. So I just I felt for her and I just wanted to get home. Um, you know, I have some dinner in the airport. We go on, or I go on to um Atlanta, and I'm texting some friends in Atlanta. I'm like, I'm gonna be, I'll be in your city tonight, lol, just like, you know, saying hi. And it was so sweet. They offered to um they offered to come get me and bring them to their house and then bring me back in the morning so I could just sleep in like a, you know, a real home with like a safe bed in a place that felt a little bit like, you know, it felt more soothing to my to my nervous system than an airport hotel, right? And that was so sweet, and they did, and then I, you know, I got to Atlanta and was getting ready to get my checked bag, and then that bag didn't make it, and I was convinced that my bag was lost in Mexico because they like it didn't have any updated information other than the fact that it was tagged in Puerto Escondido, and I'm like, where's the fuck is this bag? All these things are going on, right? And so I'm on the airport floor in Mexico City, and I'm messaging my amazing executive assistant, and she was like, This is this is what you always talk about. Like, this is the part, right? It's like it's really easy to feel good in the retreat setting. It is so easy. I don't care what kind of retreat it is, you feel like your best self because you are being nourished, you're being taken care of, like you're able to relax and go offline and connect with other human beings. And like, it's really easy to be your best self when there's no adversity, you know? And and that's the thing, right? I say this a lot about beliefs, right? Like, if you really you don't really believe something, and like you don't really have an opinion on something until that opinion or that belief gets questioned or tested, right? Until you really have to defend it. Because until then, it's just like a convenient thing for you to think that might hurt some feelings. But if you've never had to like justify or live by or prop up your your beliefs or your opinions, then they're not real in any sense. They're just like some amorphous, ethereal, and what's the word I'm looking for? Not ethereal. They're they're a non-tangible concept that's just floating around for you. But when you really have to live by it, that's when you know, like, hey, is this like, does this have, does this stick? Does this have teeth? And for me, this was this was it. This was my opportunity to be like, does this have teeth? And, you know, in all of the experiences. So, you know, from the beginning, needing to be transferred to a supervisor. I, you know, kept my cool with this woman. I was honest. I said, hey, like I'm I am stressed out. I'm I'm hoping we can find resolution to this. And I did not, you know, raise my voice at her using interest language. I said, hey, I don't feel like we're on the same page. Can you please transfer me to a supervisor? Right. And then in the supervisor was I thinking, why the hell are you in charge of this if you're gonna mess up dates? Yes. But what I said was, okay, like if that didn't work out, let's just get back on the same page. Like, look, can we get back on my flight, right? And we ended the conversation on a positive note. I'm always telling them, like, thanks for your time. So, and even in the plane, right? I did have a very positive experience with the third person I talked to at Delta when we booked the Salt Lake City flight, even though I didn't end up making it. But really great energy with her. And on the entire flight, I'm picturing the best case scenario. Hey, this plate is gonna land, I'm gonna get off that plane, I'm gonna ski Daddle over to the next gate. I'm gonna make it, I'm getting on there. Is that what ultimately happened? No. And do I feel bad about crying? No, because here's the thing, too. I was sitting at dinner with a friend in Oaxaca before the retreat started, right? And um, it was like a new friend. It was a friend of a friend, someone I had never met before. Um, I think we'd both like heard a decent amount about each other. And um, you know, we're just talking and and learning more about one another. And I said something like, I'm very sensitive. I'm a very sensitive person. And he goes, Yeah, I can tell it. There were a couple times when I thought you were gonna cry, like talking about something. And I was like, Oh, I love to cry, you know, it's so important. Woody Allen has something, not Woody Allen, oh my god, yikes, yikes! Woody Harrelson has this thing that he says, something about like, oh, you don't have to like deal with your stress, you could just grow a tumor. And it's so true. Like the process, the emotions that we don't allow ourselves to feel manifest in other ways. So am I quick to cry? Yeah. Is it like it's not like this big, and again, I'm not judging someone's experience, but like I cry, I release the emotion, and I move on. It's not this, like, you know, sometimes you can tell someone doesn't cry a lot or you know, is really processing something else if like the reaction is a bit disproportionate for whatever the thing was. I'm thinking of one person in particular in my life who will watch a sad movie, and she doesn't really cry in any other way, so she'll watch a sad movie and she will just have this huge emotional release about it. And I'm like, I mean, it was sad, I'm crying too, but like my god. And it's because she doesn't do it in the other smaller ways, right? Like, did I cry at the end of my octopus teacher? Yeah, of course, but hang I'm not I'm not judging, I'm just making an observation here. My reactions are more proportionate. Like, I'll shed a tear, right? Or I'll I'll cry and my eyes will water and tears will stream down my face, but I'm not like sobbing at something, you know? And uh I was saying, yeah, I love to cry. And so I I did cry. I cried at the gate. A few tears rolled down my face when I did not make that gate because I was frustrated, but it wasn't like um go fuck yourself or whatever else, right? Toward the person. Um, even though I am thinking like fuck internally, I knew it wasn't his fault. And it's also okay to like express the anger and the frustration, right? When we see the people who like punch the wall, what we're really seeing is like a lot of other unprocessed emotions, like expressing, if you can learn to express the emotion, whatever it is, in the moment, it's a much less like the the waves and the crests are much closer together. So that's what a lot of people say about microdosing is like their emotional experience was really like high highs and low lows, and there's just become this like more um the waves have become more consistent, less intense, and it just feels like they're not riding such an intense roller coaster, it's more like a peaceful journey. Um and that's even what my one woman at the retreat said too was a big download for her. She said she's been like wanting this like unbridled joy and ecstasy, and you know, not realizing that on the other side of that because of this like concept of the 50-50 or the pendulum, right? If you're gonna swing super high over here, you have to like understand that the opposite reaction is also coming. It's like it's gonna lead to some big devastation. And she goes, I'm not chasing these high highs or these like low lows anymore, I'm just chasing a sense of contentment. Um, and when you're able to express your emotions in the moment, that contentment comes a little bit easier. So yeah, I cried, but you know what? Like my friends came and got me in Atlanta. Did my bag eventually arrived? Again, that was the only thing that I just had to hold the best case scenario for. It was like my bag is not lost indefinitely in Mexico. It's coming, and it did come, thankfully. Thank God. And when I was laying in that bed, right, in Atlanta on super soft carpet, like this really warm, cozy bed in a home, not an airport hotel where God knows what was on the sheets, and I'm just hearing plans to go take on and off all night. Like, I was just thinking, I it just feels so good. I feel so cozy, I feel so at home, and cozy is like my favorite feeling. So, this is all to say, like the work does begin whenever you leave the space, right? Because until you are your back's against the wall, like you don't know what changes you've made. Until it's hard to make a choice, you don't know that that choice is something that you've integrated. So it was easy for the women to continue to eat well, right? Like while on the retreat, because that's the only food that was being served. But it's a different thing. One of the retreat women just told me, I've been packing my lunches to go to work so that I don't end up eating craps. Like, okay, amazing, right? It's one thing to be able to savor some fresh hikama and mango as it is served to you on at a compound with a private beach access in Puerto Escondido. It's another thing to continue to savor the small moments in your life once you're back and you have three kids and a husband and two businesses, right? So my point in sharing this is like it doesn't really matter until there's stakes. Yeah, everything is just performance until you reenter your day to day life and you maintain the thread until you keep pulling it. And so, um, you know, I was faced with some more adversity than I would have liked right outside the gate. But at the end of the day, like, did I just have some unfortunate travel issues and some plane delays? Yes, but that's also like that's where people. People are not really their best selves at the airport. I don't know if you ever noticed that. But I was really proud of how I've how I handled that situation. And I know that the work comes after the retreat. The work really isn't in the journey itself, it's in the after. And I will continue to choose peace, to be in mindful consumption, to entertain the best case scenario, to live limitless, especially in the end goal and to savor my life. And you know, for my integration, what came up was I'm going to, oh, this is a big one. It's really hard. This is the hardest integration I've ever done, but it's giving up reality television. I love it. I love it so much. But it like would make me angry. You know, I get angry, they'd be like, fuck you, Amanda. If you know, you know. Um, and it's like Amanda doesn't care that I said fuck you, right? I don't know Amanda. And like her life has nothing to do with my life. And we all only have so many fucks to give in a day. And like, I would rather give fucks to like growing my business and my impact and like read. There's so many books I want to read. There's so much I want to learn. It's like I'm spending time watching reality television. It was a hard one to it was a hard one to say out loud because I think I've known it for a long time. Not from a place of judgment, like reality television is bad, it's just not how I want to be spending my time. And um, that was a tough one for me, but we're doing it. Doing it. Um, I'm proud of myself, and this is what integration really is, and this is why people say 97% is what comes after the journey. So, my integration for you is to ask yourself what is something that I say is important to me, or that I would like to say is like a characteristic of who I am, right? But perhaps there is uh a piece where like you're not really living by that. So, you know, an example of this is a really clear one for a lot of people is like, oh, family is important to me. It's like, but how much time do you spend with your family? Or when you are home from with your family after work, are you on your phone? Like, what about being more present with your family? Or about like carving out, dedicating real time to like doing something together, more so than like just you know, um seeing each other asking about your day, like something bigger, like an outing or a picnic or something, right? Or a phone-free dinner rule. Uh, another one can be like, well, okay, I think I'm a kind person, but like, are you kind when you call customer service? Like, these are the things, right? These are these little like checkpoints with yourself of I say I want this or I say I am this kind of person. And this isn't like a space of judgment, it's not to be like, oh my god, I suck, I'm a huge bitch. If you find out like there are these moments of incongruency, because here's the thing like we are human beings, like everyone is a little bit of a hypocrite, everyone's gonna have incongruent moments, or it might even be something that you want to be, like maybe you really want to think of yourself as a patient person, but you know that you have a speeding problem and you're always cutting people off in traffic. Like, let's find a moment to notice an inconsistency and take a step toward congruency. Um, so that is my integration moment for you today. Just sending you so much love and we will talk soon. That's the end of today's trip. But remember, the real magic has always been inside of you. If this episode landed, send it to a friend who's ready to step into their next level. And make sure you're following the show so you never miss a dose. I'll be back again soon with another day on the path to your most limitless life. And until then, trust yourself, follow your intuition, and keep asking how good can it get?